Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize