My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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