dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
