Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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