Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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