wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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