we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
