Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
