How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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