I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
