My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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