Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
