Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
