i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
