he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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