haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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