hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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