Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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