I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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