so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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