I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i drank out of a bidet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
