Kiss
Puke
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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