wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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