He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
