We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
