Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
