you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
