Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize