So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just found a bag of teeth...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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