At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
