I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
