I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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