The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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