btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize