You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
