She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
