You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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