Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
