drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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