But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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