Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
