Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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