Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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