eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
