He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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