I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
