ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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