Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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