I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
