The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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