I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
