I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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