I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
