so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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