She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
