You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
