what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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