i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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