i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
