There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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