everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
