real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
